I didn't get to spend a lot of time watching General Conference this weekend but I was able to watch the Prophet speak at the end of the first session yesterday. He talked about having hope and living and enjoying each day you have. And the importance of not looking at what you don't have. What he said really meant a lot to me and I really feel like I finally have an answer to something that Chris and I have been praying about for a long time.
Over the last 6 years I have slowly turned into an anger bitter person. I've never understood why we can't have kids and why everyone else around has been. The more time that's past, the more angry and bitter I've become. We did everything we could think of spiritual and sought out the best fertility doctors in Austin and still nothing has worked. Over the last year we've debated about fertility treatments vs adoption and which one we should do. Each one with it's own expense and neither one would be easy. Countless amounts of prayers were said as we pleaded to find out which path we should take. I've never felt so alone in trying to make such a huge decision. Each time a prayer wasn't answered I felt more confusion and anger. I couldn't understand why God wasn't listening and why he'd left me walk alone for so long. I felt my spiritual candle slowly fading down to nothing. After yesterdays talk, I finally feel that peaceful feeling that I've been so longing to feel. I finally have an answer to a prayer that I've waited so long to get. I finally feel a weight lifted off my shoulders and my anger and bitterness fading. I finally feel like I can move on with my life and live each day as it comes. I can really enjoy the time that Chris and I have together as a family.
4 comments:
Thanks I need that too! You are the best!
Becky, thanks so much for your comment on my blog, and for your most recent post. It makes my heart go out to you to know your situation! You and Chris are both great people and I know that the Lord knows the desires of your heart. I would love to share with you a poem that co-worker shared with me, her "wait" lasted 5 years. I included the link below.
http://www.waitpoem.com/poem/index.html
I know that this is not quite the same as coming from the prophet, but this poem is a real tear jerker and brought me peace on the hard nights (I've read it several times). I know you said you didn't have much time to watch conference, but there was a talk given by one of the 12 (I can't remember who now because I want to tell you about it) but it was on "hope". I loved it! I am so glad to now have your blog address, and to be able to keep in touch. Please know that you are in my prayers!
That was a great post Becky. You're a much stronger person than you gave yourself credit for. I'm so glad you finally found the answer you've been looking for.
Just know that I really look to you as an example. You're an amazing women, sister, aunt and friend. Bryce & Bryleigh love you guys so much.
I've tagged you on our blog. You might have to scroll down to find the post. I can't wait to read your answers.
Post a Comment